The Static Traditional Practice; Magar Log Kia Kahein Gae?
“Shame is a soul eating emotion”-C.G. Jung.
‘Shame’ is a word which concerns many people and most of the times it is the society that lets you down and poses discouraging and humiliating labels on others due to the dogmatism that exists in today’s world and restricts people from making the decisions of their life freely. Pakistani society has been attached to a lot of societal stigma’s whose pillars have been constructed by the ‘cultural norms’ which tend to rule this foul kingdom. A lot of people face a million of problems consistently and they desire to get out of it for a better life and to avail a chance of living again but unfortunately, decisions are mostly not made by considering themselves rather the society’s opinion is held in the foremost because then again, “Magar log kia kahen gae” is something that comes to our mind when we are planning to do something, even if it comes for a second, it is always a distinguished nightmare!
‘Magar log kia kahen gae?’ is a statement which horrifies many people and keeps them awake at night. Yes, it does. It is continuously eating the emotions and feelings of people because they cannot make a better decision of their ‘OWN’ lives which is something very disturbing. They envy those people who are actually not caring about log kia kahen gae but instead, choose to live fully and are gratified with themselves. There are women out there who are not having a good married life and are abused on a daily basis by their husbands but even if they want to break these chains of violence and fly far away from this dark life, they won’t because Issi mein tou Unn ki aur Unn kae ghar ki Izzat hae beta and these birds are caged for the rest of their lives. Women cannot even dress themselves like the way they prefer because their bodies hold the honor of their families, their men and the whole society. I still cannot grasp this idea of honor and respect though, but still I have to accept it Warna log kia kahen gae? Jee Jee, Bilkul.
There are mothers who are continuously undermined and abused by their husbands verbally and even physically but, they just cannot let anyone know about this because Ghar ki izzat tou Aurat ka jahez hae na. They are not allowed by the society to let anything out because “Log” just cannot afford to see you happy and you have to bear with this static tradition. Apart from these cases, we also find people who want to earn money by doing a job and earn respectably instead of begging but this society would not even give you a chance to breath properly if the source of income is not according to the ‘Izzat Daar’ norms of our culture. Thus, I’d like to advise all out there searching for jobs to be careful because there are only two options left; A director or a manager of a well reputed company otherwise, you straightaway are a beggar straight, nothing in between. Got it? You better do. *Grins*
An example which is very difficult to ignore is the way we conduct our marriage ceremonies and the way we think that others should also conduct in the same way to maintain their very own “Izzat” and “Logon ki Raey ka Khayal” is not a choice but a priority, Duhh. Lavish and expensive arrangements plus best designer clothes is just the beginning and increased dowries can be a cherry on top. Moreover, the fakeness that is added to the way the bride should be sitting ‘appropriately’ portrays her sophistication which is also a requirement of our society or else the question, “Maa Baap nae kia Tarbiat ki hae?” is going to be coming up next.
These are just some of the issues that are being pointed out to let everyone understand that the problems we are facing are actually created by ourselves. It is not any third-party or any ‘Saazish’ done by some international authorities, it is our stereotyped mindset and dogmatic beliefs that is destroying the lives of many and affecting people’s lives and health increasingly. The only solution to this problem is a change in cultural norms and our mindset. We have to let go of ‘Log kia kahen gae?’ and move on with what is better for us. This societal pressure has increased depression and high blood pressure in people. Health issues have increased rapidly and social undermining has become a huge concern, too. The way people are stressed out by over thinking their issues leads them to suicides and self-destruction only and nothing more. It is a menace that is discouraging the importance of self-belief and the desire to feel good by what you do but instead, we tend to consider what people will think about it.
We can lead our lives the way we want them to go by making the decisions that are better for us and to do that, we have to stand with what we do with confidence and pride rather than shame. Shame is the only thing in life which lets us down and doesn’t allow us to ‘live’ our short life with pleasure and happiness. To change the set traditions, we have to take the first step by our own self and continue to prosper the beauty of Hope. Like Steve Jobs said some amazing lines regarding this concept;
“Don’t be trapped by dogma—which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.”
And that is how we live!