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Toxic friendships and the damage they do

Unhappy times are the best teacher, and I say that with a very heavy heart. If I have to compare my present self to who I was last year then first of all, my hair grew out from a bad haircut and, (on a much serious note) I’m two friends short. Actually, two best friends short.

You look to your side and see that high school best friend who you can never get enough of, and then somehow they become too busy to even answer to your text messages. Even though, you both lived in the same city, it takes her six months to meet you.

The basis of every relationship is “understanding” each other. Therefore, you try to understand them and the thought that they, very well might have ditched you on purpose never even crosses your mind. You make up reasons for their absence. But as time passes, they all start to sound like sad excuses which you create in your brain in order to keep that flame of your friendship alive, which they had already blown away. But with the stubborn hope lying in your heart, you try to make amends. You let go of your ego and allow your ‘friend’ to walk over your self-esteem yet once again. This was the case with one of my ‘best’ friends who had concluded that her time was being spent more usefully with others. I watched her lie to my face and completely transform into a stranger. A person who gave me nothing but betrayal.
Whoever said breakups are hard, probably never had a friend to break their heart. Sometimes the people we often grow up with, turn out to be very different from us. You may have counted your beloved cousin as a third sister but she might have never counted you as more than a person to kill time with. So, to this cousin of mine, people’s opinion and the social status was beyond anything. And to me, getting home before curfew was crucial. But i still tried to look beyond the differences and tried my best to get along with her. But as they say you can not force love, similarly you can not force sincerity either. Although we had our differences, i was always there for her, no matter what circumstances I had to face. So even if there came a rough patch between our families, the friendship remained unaffected. And here i thought she did the same for me. But, the reality was soon exposed. She had only chosen me as long as it was convenient for her, as long as it didn’t affect her social status, as long as it didn’t cut down any benefits. So, when the time came for her to choose me over a guy, guess who she chose? The guy, of course. And although, i had never asked her to choose, she still made this decision and subtracted me from her life.

Not only did she break the Girl code 101, but by choosing a guy over her friendship, she also punctured a huge hole in a years long friendship. This may very well seem like a Taylor Swift rant about how you got mistreated by two supposedly “best friends”. Though, the bottom line is that every picture has two sides, but there’s only one person hurt enough to talk about that tragic loss.

Although, good friends can surely make your life sweeter, but some can tarnish your heart and add another file to your trust issues shelf. So, i’d request you all to appreciate the people who are still there for you and let go of those who bring you pain. Choose yourself over fake friends and toxic friendships. Friends are supposed to make others feel good about themselves rather than making them miserable. So, stop damaging yourself. Stop putting yourself out there for people who don’t even deserve to be a part of your life. Stop making excuses for friends who are nothing but wolves with friendly faces. And please stop fighting with your friends who reveal your secrets to others. Why? Because they are simply not worth it. Choose yourself and your happiness. You will meet so many people in your life, some who may grow to be your true friends and some who will leave you just like the rest. And this is the way life is. Make yourself stronger and don’t let anyone take advantage of you. If someone wants to leave, you should open the door for them to go. Never hold grudges as it will only make you bitter.

 

So, to the two EX best friends, I would like to say thank you for the memories as I’d cherish them forever. But, also thank you for teaching me how to let go of the people who are not made for you.

  • Attya Tariq

    This is so beautifully written.<3

  • No words girl. <3

    • AnqaKhan

      Thankyou <3